In doing my small part in trying to cause a paradigm shift, I've always said the father needs to do all he can to be more involved with the pregnency and childbirth. I've copied this from an Evisors e-mail I received. It gets to the point very well:

85% of new fathers in the U.S. take paternity leave but...

Up to 15% of U.S. firms now offer paid leave to men after the birth of their child. Yahoo offers 8 weeks off at full pay, Bank of America offers 12 weeks, and Ernst & Young gives 6 weeks. While the number of firms offering leave is encouraging, most men are still reluctant to take it. While 85% take some time off, the vast majority only take 1 or 2 weeks off. The main reasons men don't take more leave are fear of losing status at work and lingering stereotypes about a father's role in the family according to a survey from Society for Human Resource Management. The same survey documented long-term benefits of dads staying home after child birth, but until there's more social acceptance and encouragement, most men said they wouldn't take more than the typical 1-2 weeks. One thing that might help is senior executives taking such a leave themselves. Another study by search firm Korn/Ferry found that while 75% of male executives believed paternity leave is an important retention tool, only 15% reported taking such leave themselves. Today's stat is based on an excerpt from "Why Dads Don't Take Paternity Leave" from The Wall Street Journal.

So, the man should feel just fine about taking the time off. It is good in so many ways! I do know of some who take the time off and go golfing...nope, not the purpose. We need to crush the stereotypes.

SNAPP

book signing

Got it confirmed, after the interview tomorrow I will be at Eborn Books, 254 South Main, in SLC, to sign books if interested. That will start at 6:00 p.m. and end by 8:00. If you are in the area stop by and say howdy!

Nick Galieti, of "The Good Word" , part of Radio Gold Productions, will be interviewing me tomorrow about my book. It's going to be fun and give me another oppportunity to promote, yes my book, but also the idea of how important the husband's role is during pregnancy. There may be a book signing after the interview at Eborn Books in SLC at 6:00, but won't know for sure on that until later today.

I've been very aware of several lately who have lost their babies during the pregnancy. My cousin's wife lost her baby well into the second trimester this past week. They were able to still deliver the baby boy so the family could hold him for a moment. I have seen great strength in that photo. Their attitude on this experience has been amazingly positive. They have a deep faith in God and know deep in their hearts that He is charge of and over all things. They are hurting and disappointed for sure, as are their young kids who were excited to have a baby brother, but they are coping very well. My point in bringing this up? Pregnancy does not go according to plans, hopes and desires all the time. Husbands need to take amazing care (for so many reasons, not just this),of their wife while pregnant. It's hard on the wife. Love them and take care of them! It doesn't just happen...you have to work at it all the time. So be sure you do! SNAPP

I was fortunate enough to be on studio 5 (KSL Channel 5 in Utah), this past Wednesday. It was a great experience where we discussed how a pregnant wife should be treated (here is the link to the segment, http://studio5.ksl.com/?nid=54&sid=23258216 ). Brooke Walker, one of the show's hosts (she and Darin are awesome by the way), asked me when I had the aha moment, and I had to admit it was during our fifth pregnancy. Two things hit me at the same time when I answered her question: 1) Kimie has actually been pregnant six times, that never made it into the book. Kimie experienced a fetal demise during our third pregnancy. It's different than a miscarriage, but the baby, or fetus as they referred to it, didn't survive. We were actually at the doctor, with friends, because both couples were expecting and we were all finding out the gender of our babies. We were just into the second trimester and discovered at this appointment that the baby died. It was a tough situation. I can discuss that more at a later time. There is much to talk about there. 2) Some people think the book is perfect for couples who are experiencing their first pregnancy...and it certianly is useful for them. However, I find with the more you do anything, the more routine it comes and the more you take for granted. I took for granted that Kimie was quite used to being pregnant by time our fifth child was born. I never really consciously thought this, but it seemed like I expected everything to be automatic since my wife was "an old pro" at this kind of thing. I started digressing and that's when I realized I needed to step it back up. So, I started writing down things I had done in the past, both bad and good. I noted what other people were doing, both bad and good. Now it's a book, and honestly, my only hope is that it helps a little somewhere. Don't let routine kill common sense! SNAPP

I didn't put everything in my first book. There are two huge things I left out, one by pure accident. I will mention it sometime. The other because it is fairly personal, but may be of help at a later time to people. For now, I've had two friends' wives have babies in the past two weeks. One of them is a first time father, and the other just became father of his fourth child. The cool thing is the fourth time around for my friend seemed to be as exciting as his first. Be like him, don't ever allow it to feel like an old routine. You're not simply having another baby, it's a whole other life coming into your life. This baby, whether the first, second, fifth, tenth, or whatever, is a unique and needy being. That's exciting, so do it right each time! SNAPP

Sherry Hunter! You entered the drawing to win a free copy of my book, and your name has been randomly selected! Congratulations! Please leave a comment on this post saying you accept and I will arrange getting the book to you ASAP. This will not be the last opportunity to win a copy. Future blogs will be associated with other opportunities. SNAPP